Surviving Trauma and What I Have Learned from Disasters

Being a Trained Traumatologist

I have seen this up close and personal. I am a crisis responder and a trained traumatologist. I have been all over the United States. I have helped in communities in California where fires burned thousands of homes. I have worked in New York and New Jersey helping families that lost loved ones to the bombings of the Twin Towers. I have been to New Orleans and Florida after hurricanes took lives and damaged miles and miles of homes and property. I have helped in communities in my own Missouri and driven down the road to Joplin and Pierce City to help people recover from the worst of the worst conditions.

Does it get easier to do trauma work?

No, it does not.
Still, it is by far the most rewarding and important thing I do to help others. I have said many times about the couples, mothers and children who come to shelters seeking help, they are resilient and hopeful. They show their joy because they have each other (or they have that fuzzy friend by their side). They are grateful to be alive and to have an opportunity to rebuild. It takes time for them to grasp what has happened and thank God they have this protective reaction because the days that follow will be filled with their new crisis reality. Often there is no way to understand why, but they can accept and they do move on, even though their lives are forever changed.
Yes, some do better than others. Of course resources, insurance and supportive extended families make all the difference. Employers who provide jobs and keep the doors open––no matter what––are crucial to sustaining families.

How Do I Cope with Disasters?

One of the most common things I have witnessed in such uncommon times is that in general, people do very well with disasters. It prompts them to reflect. All their concerns about material stuff fly right out the window. Some people find their faith challenged. Others literally lose their faith and blame God for all the bad things that have happened to them. But overall, I have seen that faith generally grows and people find a bright light in all the darkness. The faith journey is like the cross that people erected at Ground Zero at the Statue of Mother Mary holding a rosary in her unbroken hands, which became a holy place. People pull together, their strength grows in determination and they burn with a renewed fire to not give up.
It’s amazing to see how––even in the worst of times––people take refuge in connecting over little things. When I was at the World Trade Center tent helping the first responders I think what impressed the local people was how far so many of us had come to help others. We never really know how much others care until someone shows up from another coast or another country. I still remember talking with one of the ATT responders working on the phone lines in New York. When he found out where I was from, he smiled, scratched his head and said, “You know I have never met anyone from Missouri.” I told him he was lucky “because I was wearing shoes.” He got a kick out of that and we both laughed and savored the moment before we both went back to work helping with the recovery.

How Do I Deal with Loss?

Some of the most enduring losses people grieve are the mementos, the photos and precious objects that belonged to their beloved mother or father. Of course, the deepest pain surrounds the loss of family ties, the agony of losing a loved one.

How Do I Survive Devastating Losses?

So, what do they do to survive such devastating losses? They learn a new normal and they go on. They discover a new way to do things, they rebuild, they move into a new home, they learn new ways, they get angry, they get sad and they get depressed. They experience every emotion in Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s theory of death and dying: shock, bargaining (this cannot be true), anger, depression and eventually some of kind of acceptance. Loss is loss and we have similar reactions even while each of us is a unique individual.
One thing these survivors have in common after a disaster is they all look at the skies differently. They watch and wait and wonder if it will happen again. They watch for tornadoes in Joplin and Pierce City; all along the eastern seaboard and the gulf they watch for hurricanes; in New York and New Jersey they watch for low-flying planes. They erect memorials like the reflection pools at the World Trade Center site. They build parks and conduct ceremonies so they will never forget those that have been lost. They find ways to cling to one another when the hurt comes back.

After a Disaster, Will Things Get Back to Where They Were?

No, you never get back to where you were. For some life gets better, others remain trapped in their grief. I like to think that with each loss, with each disaster, we learn a little more about making better rescue efforts, providing better recovery services, and supporting amazing organizations like the Red Cross, Salvation Army and Catholic Charities.
I am proud to work with all these groups and I offer thanks to those whom we serve. They teach us much about life, love and resilience. It’s what life is really about. We are all connected and if one of us suffers we all suffer, so we must –and do–help each other.

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Trauma Resource Links

Trauma Related Articles

• How to Handle a Crisis Without Over Stressing
• Springfield Victims Center Memory Garden

Trauma Related Podcasts

• How to Help Hurricane Victims
• Earthquake Safety
• What Is The Best Worst Thing That Can Happen
• How Crisis Causes Renewal
• How to Rebuild Your Strength and Recover After A Crisis
• How to Survive A Crisis
• How to Help Disaster Survivors
• Dr. Nancy Remembers 9/11 at Springfield Victim Center’s Memory Garden
• Life after Near Death
• How to Turn Tragedy into Hope
• Why Make a Difference