Empowerment

Big Advancements in Gender Equality Expected in 2020

Gender Equality2020 is a shaping up to be a big year for advancements in gender equality. In fact, The Guardian reports that world leaders, civil society and the private sector are preparing to make 2020 the biggest year yet for the advancement of women’s rights. Building on previous events, commemorating positive shifts and goals  of note, supporting women leaders, and planning for new ways to close the gap are just a few of the ways that we can collectively continue our work to secure equal rights and opportunities for all.

For starters, thousands of people are expected to attend high-level UN events and forums in Mexico City and Paris to mark the 25th anniversary of the Beijing Platform for Action, the landmark agreement to end gender inequality. In addition to the Beijing anniversary, 2020 also marks two decades since UN Security Council Resolution 1325 first acknowledged women’s unique experience of conflict and their lack of involvement in peace negotiations, with anniversary events being planned for October. The New Year “also kicks off the 10-year countdown to achieve the UN Sustainable Development Goals, which includes a commitment to end gender inequality by 2030.”

In the U.S., 2020 is also a year to celebrate as it marks the 100th anniversary of the passage of the 19th Amendment, guaranteeing and protecting women’s constitutional right to vote. This historic anniversary offers an incredible opportunity to recognize an important milestone of our nation’s democracy and provides an ideal opportunity to explore its relevance to the issues of equal rights today. The 2020 Women’s Vote Centennial Initiative is serving as an informational clearinghouse, and publishing events hosted by local, state, and national groups who are working to, “remember the legacy of suffragists around the country with monuments, memorials, and projects that honor the life and work of the women who dedicated themselves to the fight for women’s equality.”

It’s also important to keep in mind that 2020 is an election year, and just as 2018 saw the biggest wave of women elected to government in history, with 2,133 women being sworn into America’s state legislatures.  Since the election, women also hold 25 seats in the U.S. Senate and 101 seats in the House, voters can expect this year to provide more of the same momentum. Whether eyeing the school board, mayor, state legislature, or the highest office in the land, women are running and they need our help to win.

In fact, supporting the women running or preparing to run could very well be where we can have the greatest impact in the coming year. While all eyes tend to focus on the presidency and national or even statewide offices, we need to also look local as Kate Black, former chief of staff and vice president of research for EMILY’s List points out, “There are over 500,000 offices that you can run for in this country.”

“It’s not just the 435 in the U.S. House of Representatives or the 100 in the Senate or even that Oval Office on Pennsylvania Avenue.” Black said. “It’s this whole landscape that’s available to women.”

“If women run, women win,” says Debbie Walsh, director of the Center for American Women and Politics at Rutgers University said. So, whether it’s the school board, city government, state or national office, we need to lend our support to help another woman run. That is how we make our voices heard. We need to celebrate the women who have paved the way and support those ready to follow their lead. It’s when women help women that we all win, and it is time to recognize the road we’ve traveled, support one another through what lies ahead, and do our part to make 2020 the biggest year ever for advancing gender equality.

Push Her Forward and Vote Her In

Political Activist for Women

Rebecca Sive

Rebecca Sive was raised to work hard, get educated and in turn, teach others. Most of all she was raised by parents who thought it was important to advocate for democratic values and help get people elected to create equal opportunities and fairness for all. Since the 2016 election, and the subsequent Women’s March, Rebecca has been inspired to increase her advocacy for women and write her newest book, Vote Her In: Your Guide to Electing Our First Woman President.

#VOTEHERIN

Convinced that the time is now, Rebecca points out that a woman already got elected to the presidency by the popular vote. A fact she uses to make the case that the American people, both men and women, are ready for a woman president. In Vote Her In, she helps women – especially those who did not vote for the woman for president – see how they actually voted against their own interests.

Rebecca explains that the road to better health care, improved child care and education for all is by electing a woman president. Women understand the need for these things, which is why it just doesn’t make sense to vote for someone who does not address the issues in their policies. She also explains the ways that a woman president would help women reach parity sooner, first by demonstrating the ways that women make great leaders, and second through policies to promote equal pay and status in the workplace.

“When A Woman Leads, Everyone Wins.”

Women are proving that they can lead every day. In fact, as a result of their leadership, companies are more profitable, and policies are more beneficial to all.  Originally recorded in October, 2018, Dr. Nancy asked Rebecca who might run for president and Rebecca pointed out that women have been running and winning for years. Although only one-fifth of the Senate are women and there are only six governors, there are a number of women who have executive experience. She predicted that after the 2018 mid-terms, a pool of women would start to throw their hats into the ring. Early next year (2019), they will begin fundraising and announcing their intentions for 2020.  She predicted that regardless of where you stand ideologically or politically, you will have a choice and begin to see women leaders speaking out. (Rebecca was absolutely right. At this update, the field of six women running for President has thinned to four, but that’s still more than ever before at this stage of the campaign.)

In the second part of Vote Her In Rebecca encourages women to get behind the woman they choose and help her get elected. This how-to section of the book gives readers advice and direction for how to engage with the political process and push that deserving woman toward the presidency. Rebecca says women do it all the time. We lift each other up and help one another achieve our goals. We can elect a woman president and the country is very ready for it.

Listen to this interview for more inspiring comments and insights. Check out Rebecca’s website and get her book. Use #VOTEHERIN whenever possible and get this movement moving. If all of us push together we can Vote Her In!

 

Level Up – The Diversity Women’s Business Leadership Conference

Since its inception, Diversity Woman Magazine has recognized the importance of leadership development and empowerment for diverse women. Aiming to educate and support diverse and multicultural women leaders and to facilitate their continued growth and success, the organization more than delivered through their annual Business Leadership Conference in November.

Attracting diverse and multicultural business leaders from the world’s largest corporations and entrepreneurs from successful women-owned businesses, the Conference not only served as the perfect place for women to make connections, it also provided plenty of information for women to further their development. Boasting notable speakers and powerhouse panels, attendees were able to gain wisdom and insight from some of the most influential women leaders in the nation.

Take The Lead’s Co-Founder and President Gloria Feldt provided a flash talk on the Conference’s first day. With “Intentional Woman: Be BOLD and Carry OUT!” Gloria told attendees that the real secret to reaching their full leadership potential while helping all women get their fair and equal share of leadership roles starts with “I.” But it’s far from selfish. It is all about embracing the power of your own intention. Of taking those elements of female socialization that have traditionally held women back and turning them into assets, superpowers even.

Additional presentations and panels guided attendees on strategies for advancing in business, such as “Bold Moves for a Disruptive World” and “Three Rules for Winning in Corporate America”, and Leadership Coaching helped attendees do everything from navigating a project to developing their personal brand.

The Women Connect4Good Foundation was a diamond level sponsor of this year’s event, and Dr. Nancy was on hand to host the Conference’s Opening Reception and along with Dr. Sheila Robinson, Founder of Diversity Women’s Business Leadership Conference, delivered opening remarks on day two – helping attendees get supercharged for a day of powerful learning and inspiration.

Dr. Nancy recalled the first time she attended the Diversity Women Business Conference, and said it was the most amazing experience she’d ever had. It was the first time she truly understood the words inclusive and sisterhood. In order to deepen that understanding, Dr. Nancy had to look first of all at privilege, and how with privilege comes responsibility.

In her latest book, In This Together, we quote Michael Kimmel who said in a TED Talk, “Privilege is invisible to those who have it.” His point was that we have unconscious biases that prevent us from recognizing our own privilege. In fact, we are privileged if we don’t even see our race or gender when we look in the mirror.

This week’s podcast guest, Trudy Bourgeois, founder of The Center for Workforce Excellence said it best when she told Dr. Nancy, “You don’t know what you don’t know.” She said that if we are to create equality for all women, we have to name our biases and talk about them. Her recent book tells how we can transform our work environments by admitting our biases and engaging in tough, uncomfortable conversations. It’s called EQUALITY: Courageous Conversations about Women, Men, AND Race in the Workplace to Spark a Diversity and Inclusion Breakthrough.

Trudy and Dr. Nancy met a few years ago at the Diversity Women’s Business Leadership Conference, and Trudy point-blank confronted Dr. Nancy with the question, “What’s wrong with you white women?” Trudy’s question had to do with the advantages that white women have had and squandered. Now, Dr. Nancy believes what’s wrong is, “We’re afraid to step outside the lines for fear of retribution ourselves. While we have to be twice as educated and work twice as hard to get half as much as our male counterparts, we realize it is our responsibility to make sure that no woman has to work twice as hard to get half as far as her white sisters.”

Chelsea Handler has said that when it comes to privilege, it’s about taking responsibility, about having those difficult conversations and doing something actionable about it. Dr. Nancy agrees and says we all have to learn how to be better. “We can do that in part when we realize that racial and gender bias impacts every aspect of work, and that includes our own path to leadership and how we lead once we get there. We are our own worst enemies because of the biases we have towards other women, and the biases we have towards ourselves. We’ve got these measurements and comparisons, and we need to recognize them and realize, nobody is winning. We need to learn to recognize that we have biases, and we all have them.”

Dr. Nancy also pointed out the fact that it’s really all about relationships. Women build relationships. We are good at it, and we can use this strength to help ourselves and our companies succeed. Study after study shows that when women hold top positions, an organization does better. She said that in order to build relationships that work for all of us, we need to realize that our differences can be challenges, but they can also be opportunities.

“I think that when we talk about how we are different we begin to understand each other better and better and realize that we’re more alike than different. We all want the same things.” Dr. Nancy said. “We also need to remember, no more US and Them. We truly are in this together and that means ALL of us, all colors, races, and our male allies too.”

Dr. Nancy concluded her opening remarks on the topic of support. After all, when we support each other, anything is possible. “This conference is a perfect example of what happens when we support each other.”

“We need to realize that we are ALL in this together and we’ll get there faster when we work together – side by side—to make the world a better place. I think that’s why we’re here is to have better lives and to make it better for other people.”

Dr. Nancy is already making plans to attend next year’s Diversity Women’s Business Leadership Conference, October 7, 8 and 9, 2020, and urges other women to do the same. Attendees will have the chance to spend time with some major players – real leaders who understand just what it takes for organizations of all sizes to be successful as well as discover great opportunities to learn from and share with one another and create new and rewarding relationships. To learn more about Diversity Women and next year’s conference, go to DiversityWoman.com.

 

STRONG. The Magazine for Girls. Changing the Way Girls See Their Futures

“You have to see it to be it.” – Billie Jean King

With two girls in middle school, Sarah Beach noticed a profound lack of resources to help her daughters see what their futures would look like. While Lucy and Daisy are intelligent, energetic, and capable young women, Sarah quickly learned they had set ideas on what their futures would look like. They already thought there were some things they couldn’t really do because they are female. They had absorbed the message that society had been sending them their whole lives that women tend to behave in a certain way, do certain jobs and like certain things.

Lyn Mikel Brown, Ed.D.’89, agrees that middle school is tough, especially for girls. A professor at Colby College and author of several books on female development, Brown says there is a “kind of increased perspective-taking that happens at early adolescence, where girls start to see how others see them and the importance of performing as the right kind of girl.” That means that the confident, spunky, bossy, wonderful girls that they may have been when they were 8, 9, or 10 years old “isn’t okay, and what they thought was true is no longer true.”

In the midst of trying to figure out who they are and the ways to best fit in, girls are often inundated with different types of media that tells them how to appeal to their crush, what to wear, how to wear it, what to eat, where to go, and who to be. Instead of focusing on women and girls breaking barriers or living aspirational lives, many mediums instead are focused on fashion, celebrity news, and body image – all rich with gender stereotypes and shallow, often limiting, depictions of what girls should aspire to be.

In our interview last week, Sarah shared her story, “When we started looking around at magazines for them, we found that they focused on crushes, fashion, and trends,” Sarah said. “My girls have more substance, their friends do too. They can do and be anything. At this age, they don’t know they need role models, but they really do.”

That frustration coupled with the desire to help her daughters reach their full potential led Sarah to found STRONG. The Magazine for Girls. “They deserve to see strong female role models in all walks of life, so they can see that there are women out there who are taking their place in the world alongside men, running businesses and countries, and making the world a better place. They need to see examples of people like them, who have refused to be put in a box by society and who are following their dreams and succeeding,” Sarah wrote on STRONG’s website.

Now in her second year of publication, Sarah provides her girls with the examples they need and opening up a world of possibilities for other young girls nationwide. Her journey hasn’t always been easy, but it has been worth it.

“I had writing experience, but no magazine publishing experience. I launched a Kickstarter campaign, and got to work building an army of supporters.” Sarah said. “While I had to learn a lot right off the bat, I’ve since met some incredible people. I’ve interviewed some amazing girls with positive attitudes, and the journey has really been about talking to and meeting incredible people.”

Shortly after launch, Sarah was also diagnosed with breast cancer, but managed to carry on producing the magazine, almost single handedly, throughout her treatment. “It’s so important to me to get this magazine into the hands of girls around the country. At a time in their lives when they’re really trying to figure out who they are going to be, our girls are currently being bombarded with magazines that feature articles such as ‘What Does His Text Really Mean?’ and ’The Best Summer Swimsuit for Your Body.’ Such magazines can be fun, but they can also be incredibly damaging, and our girls are worth so much more than that. With STRONG, I want all girls to be STRONG enough to be the best version of themselves, and not who society ‘thinks’ they should be. My aim is to represent ALL girls in our pages.”

Sarah has managed to keep STRONG advertisement free, and each issue features news, book, music, and TV reviews, and often focuses on other hard-hitting issues. Each issue is also filled with great role models, ordinary girls doing extraordinary things, and other inspirational content. Regular features include:

Growing Up In – STRONG speaks to girls growing up in different countries.
STRONG Body – A focus on nutrition (healthy recipes) and exercise, and a touch on pertinent topics such as vaping with in-house pediatrician.
STRONG Mind – Issues girls face, from mental illness and depression to dealing with friendships, peer pressure, and divorce.
STRONG Career – STRONG talks to women about their careers and how they got to where they are.
STRONG Skills – A look at everything from self-defense and first aid to time management and budgeting.
Little Miss Fix It – Guidance on fixing a puncture in your bike tire, installing smoke alarms, troubleshooting Wi-Fi, tying knots for every situation, etc.

Sarah has also launched STRONG Ambassadors, a group of 11 exceptional girls to become the magazine’s brand ambassadors. The group meets (via video call) every month and works together to bring ideas to life in their communities–ideas such as drives to end period poverty and events to raise awareness of people with disabilities. STRONG Ambassadors share and replicate ideas and facilitate them as they organize these empowering events.

“I just really believe in STRONG, and want it to become a household name, in every library across the country so every girl can access it,” Sarah said. “My aim is to inspire and empower teens and tweens and help them build a healthy, connected life. We want to help the whole girl. It’s not just a magazine, we want to help these girls grow up confident and be whatever they want to be.”

To learn more about STRONG. The Magazine for Girls. go to www.strongmagazineforgirls.com.

 

The #MeToo Movement Continues to Have an Impact

In the fall of 2017, actress Alyssa Milano responded to published sexual harassment and assault allegations against Harvey Weinstein with a Twitter hashtag that simply said, “#MeToo.” The hashtag quickly went viral and the next day, 609,000 posts followed suit according to Meltwater, which tracks social media impact. What started out as a Tweet quickly became a movement and within a year prominent people across a number of industries were publicly accused of sexual misconduct. The movement exposed a laundry list of accusations against men in powerful positions in media, Hollywood, tech and more. Before long women in every industry and from every country began calling out their assailants, saying, “Enough.” Women no longer felt isolated, and it became clear that these high-profile stories were just the tip of the iceberg. In fact, behind the headlines, hundreds of women and men — in industries across the board – filed their own harassment complaints, called hotlines, and came forward with their stories.

The impact of #MeToo has been undeniable and has not only led to the downfall of powerful people, but also an incredible impact on the workplace. The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission saw about 7,500 harassment complaints filed from October 2017 to September 2018, a 12 percent increase compared to the previous year.

The fight against harassment got a boost from #TimesUp and the National Women’s Law Center. The two groups launched a legal defense fund to provide low-income women with attorney consultations and help with legal fees. According to Emily Martin, a vice president of the National Women’s Law Center, the fund has raised $22 million in donations and assisted 3,500 women and men from all 50 states.

#MeToo Started Long Before the Tweet

Tarana Burke began using #MeToo 11 years before Milano took to Twitter as a way to empower survivors of sexual assault, and the two women actually ended up working together to turn #MeToo into a global phenomenon. Now, Burke has officially established the Me Too Movement as an organization that will  continue to have an impact, whether the hashtag is trending or not.

According to an interview with Business Insider, Burke’s biggest goal this year is “fighting for narrative shift,” which she feels needs to take place with the conversations around abuse and harassment. “We’re still talking about individuals that had acted, and we’re still talking about who can come back to work or not and that kind of stuff, as opposed to talking about all the people who said, ‘Me too.’ What do they need? What are they doing right now? How is their life being affected?”

To answer these questions, Burke says she would like to see more open dialogue in workplaces, which may be easier considering the conversations that were started by the movement. It may also be easier given the number of women who have replaced the men who were forced out. Case in point, by October 2018, 201 powerful men were brought down by #MeToo, and nearly half of their replacements were women.

This dialogue is important. As we wrote in the new book, In This Together, if we are to end sexual harassment and violence, we need to understand what it is, what it is not, and how to combat it. Although most men do not rape or harass women, neither do most men feel a responsibility to stop others from doing so.

That means we need to teach men how to treat women. It is time for women to insist that men share the responsibility when it comes to stopping other men from committing assault and abuse. This is not a women’s problem. It’s a human problem, and that means that all of us need to work together for cultural change.

Sexual Harassment is Still a Real Problem

Burke wants “Me Too” not to be a divisive issue, but a common-sense one — that supports survivors of violence and creates inclusive workplaces. However, a May 2018 poll by Morning Consult shows there is a wide partisan gap in support for the #MeToo movement. By October 2018, that gap had grown.

Meredith Conroy writes that since 2016, Republicans have grown more skeptical of women who report harassment and the motivation behind their claims. However, members of both parties were more likely to acknowledge that sexual harassment of women in the workplace is a problem in the U.S. One explanation for the gap could be that attitudes about gender equality are increasingly correlated with partisan identity.

We need to focus on the fact that sexual harassment is a problem, and collaborate on finding ways to change the status quo. Partisan politics aside – this is an issue that deserves our undivided attention, and we need to work together to correct the system that pits us against each other.

When in Doubt, Speak Out

Oftentimes, women are not sure if what is happening to them actually constitutes harassment. If you are unsure, review the definition of workplace sexual harassment and ask someone you trust outside of your organization. If you or someone you know is subject to harassment, insist that other women listen and offer to help make it stop. We can only eliminate this problem if we all work together.  Let’s transform the #Metoo movement into a positive force that magnifies our respect, consideration, and kind regard for one another–all genders, races, nationalities and religions. Together, we can heal our divisions and make an impact that moves our civilization another giant step forward toward the kind of life we all want to live.

 

Order Dr. Nancy’s New Book Today!

Sexual harassment and gender equality are just a couple of the topics covered in Dr. Nancy’s new book, In This Together: How Successful Women Support Each Other In Work and Life, along with thoughts, inspiration, and stories from 40 successful women.

Order your copy – and gifts for your friends today!

 

Helping Women Move Out of the Shadows and Get the Credit They Deserve

Women have been left in the shadows and not given the credit they deserve. Last month, NASA made a course correction and officially renamed a facility in West Virginia after Katherine Johnson. You may remember Katherine, an African-American mathematician and centenarian whose career was depicted in the film “Hidden Figures.” This was not the first public acknowledgement of her work. In 2015, President Obama awarded her the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Johnson and other black women mathematicians, who worked in NASA’s computing pool more than 50 years ago, were separated from their white colleagues, and commonly called, “colored computers.” These women calculated trajectories for the Apollo missions, and Johnson herself tracked several major missions, including Alan Shepard’s Freedom 7 in 1961 and John Glenn’s Friendship 7. “Hidden Figures” highlighted Johnson and other black women’s fight for equality in the workplace.

The lack of acknowledgement Johnson received for her work is not an isolated incident. Women have not received credit for a number of brilliant breakthroughs and achievements for hundreds of years. Sometimes deliberately stole credit for women’s work, other times the recognition was transferred more indirectly. This has created a false myth that women’s history lacks great creative and intellectual achievement, which undermines women’s past and future accomplishments, and has largely erased their work from history books, and eliminated powerful role models from the stories we tell our children.

Johnson and her colleagues are just one example of remarkable women throughout history who didn’t get the credit they deserved for revolutionizing the world we live in.

Lise Meitner discovered nuclear fusion. As acting director for the Institute for Chemistry in 1933, Meitner had to flee after Hitler came to power, but kept in touch with chemist Otto Hahn. Letters between the two of them show that they discovered nuclear fission together in the 1930s. Meitner was denied proper credit due because she was Jewish and a refugee, whereas Hahn, who stayed loyal to the Nazis, later won the Nobel Prize for this work, and refused to give Meitner credit.

Trotula of Solerno was a pioneer in women’s health. An Italian doctor in the eleventh century who wrote specifically about women’s health, Trotula of Solerno has been recognized as “the world’s first gynecologist.” Her writings are still considered building blocks in our knowledge about human health, and women’s health specifically. However, her work had been questioned over the centuries because historians and medical professionals were skeptical that a woman could have produced works of such accuracy or importance.

Hedy Lamarr invented wireless communication. During World War II, Hedy Lamarr worked closely with George Antheil to develop the idea of “frequency hopping,” which would have prevented the bugging of military radios. The U.S. Navy ignored her patent though and used her research to develop new technologies. Years later, her patent was rediscovered, which led to her receiving the Electronic Frontier Foundation award shortly before her death in 2000.

Anna Arnold Hedgeman organized the March on Washington. Anna Arnold Hedgeman was the only woman on the organizing committee for the 1963 March on Washington where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his “I Have a Dream” speech. But according to Bowdoin College professor Jennifer Scanlon, the civil rights leader was “hidden, concealed, out of sight” by the men around her. Not only did Hedgemen galvanize many different groups of people to participate in the march, she organized transportation and made sure attendees had food and water.

While these women’s stories, and many more like them, have been uncovered and are once again being shared and told, there are tens of thousands of women whose work remains in the shadows. Take for example the women who fought for our right to vote, or the multiple black women who were part of the Civil Rights Movement, and today the women who march, and who courageously share their stories through the #MeToo movement and #TimesUp. Their stories need to be told and their achievements celebrated so their work can light the way and for other women to follow.

The women whose work has shaped our history have created the foundation for us to boldly move into the future and have paved the way for us to pursue parity in political office, equity in men-dominated workplaces, equal access to high-status professions, equal treatment after divorce, and punishment of sexual harassment and rape. They have set the stage for us to achieve full equality. We need to share their stories and write our own—giving ourselves the credit we deserve.

Order Dr. Nancy’s new book today!

Marlene Chism, author of Stop Workplace Drama and No Drama Leadership says In This Together, “Offers women a powerful perspective about how to advance, how to get support and how to give support to others.”

Check out In This Together: How Successful Women Support Each Other In Work and Life to see how you can develop a community of like-minded allies…there’s a ton of actionable insights from 40 successful women that will help you harness the collective power of that community.”

Order your copy – and gifts for your friends today!

Whether You March or Not, You Need to Stay Engaged

Did you march on post-inauguration Saturday in 2017? If you did, you engaged with 4.6 million people in 642 cities on every continent on the globe who demonstrated for women’s rights. One year later, women recognized that anniversary, and once again used the streets to express their concerns. Proving that there is power in numbers, hundreds of thousands of women gathered in major cities and small towns around the globe, sharing messages as diverse as the marchers.

This year, as women again took to the streets marking the third anniversary of the Women’s March, the messages seemed even more diverse, and participants even less cohesive than in prior years. Since its inception in 2017, the Women’s March has been dogged by accusations that it does not speak for all women. As Gloria Feldt pointed out, while the 2019 iteration fielded respectable showings in major cities around the world, there is no question that some wind has gone out of its sails.

Many expressed concerns leading up to the 2018 Women’s March too, voicing fears that the movement lacked the cohesiveness necessary to move forward. Experts warned that there were too many special interests and too many different messages represented to truly affect change. However, what’s important to remember is that it has brought change and done what it was established to do. The Women’s March aimed to engage women from all walks of life and inspire them to continue their activism long after they returned home. In many ways, that goal has been realized.

Despite fractures and differences of opinion, the Women’s March is not doomed to fail. Since the early 19th century, the women’s movement in the United States has fractured along lines of race, class, age and religion. Yet strategic coalitions among these feminists have generated important victories for women’s rights, showing us that the divisions within the Women’s March do not represent an existential threat to the feminist movement.

As we wrote in In This Together, for more than 200 years, women have organized, fought, campaigned, sacrificed, and supported each other to gain the rights to inherit property, to keep their children, get an education, pursue a career, vote, hold office, and the list goes on. Although they often received no credit, women whose intersecting identities left them marginalized with less privilege have nonetheless continued to lead the movements for women’s equality. It’s time to follow their lead. It’s time to exercise all those hard-won rights to achieve true equality now.

Our commitment to change also cannot be limited to a cold Saturday in January. We must maximize the impact of movement building on the individual level — reinforcing the network of support around ourselves and generously helping other women succeed. We should never forget how fortunate we are to live in this time and take part in this movement for equality for all women, everywhere. We can dwell on what’s wrong; we can worry if it will work. Or we can say, “Today is the first day of what remains of my life, and I want to see women achieve equality before I die.”

I for one am going to focus on what I can do every day and join my dear friend Gloria Feldt who said she would “spend zero time angsting about the schisms. I’ll keep moving women forward in my way, toward taking our fair and equal share of leadership in all sectors, including business, professions, and nonprofit or social profit work, not just politics. Taking powerful positions is way more impactful than railing against power.”

Two years ago, thousands of women threw themselves into activism for the first time in their lives, and the march events provided a rare chance to build networks of like-minded people. These networks formed in 2017 have grown and expanded, and the women involved remain active. Clearly, this is our time, so let’s keep the actions and momentum building. Let’s ask for what we want, support other women in exercising our “power to,” and believe in our abundant ability to change the world, together.

Order Dr. Nancy’s new book today!

Gloria Steinem has said Dr. Nancy’s new book will “help us create community, success, and well-being.” Find out why and order your copy (and gifts for your friends) of In This Together: How Successful Women Support Each Other In Work and Life–thoughts, advice, and stories from 40 successful women across a variety of careers—from authors to actresses, CEOs and professors—encouraging women to support each other in the workplace and in life. Learn about action plans on how all women can work together to break free from the bonds of gender inequality. Get engaged and stay engaged by reading and sharing the powerful messages for women in this new book.

Are You Guilty of the Credibility Challenge?

Shortly after a number of newly-elected US Congresswomen were sworn in, a video hit social media that showed Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez recreating a dance scene from The Breakfast Club while she was a student at Boston University. The video’s release, meant to undermine her newly elected status, had the opposite effect and the attempts to humiliate her instead prompted an outpouring of support. Instead of reducing her credibility, the video seems to have bolstered her popularity.

Observers know, this attempt to undermine the suitability of Rep. Ocasio-Cortez is nothing new. During her campaign, critics were quick to critique her words and question whether she should have a voice in the public debate at all. Vox reported a tweet about her by the often-quoted voice of the Washington establishment Norm Ornstein: “This is a person not ready for prime time, certainly not ready for Congress. She should stop campaigning & do a crash course on basics, including economics and foreign policy. Otherwise, she will stumble badly out of the blocks and do major damage. Early impressions hard to erase.”

Criticism of Rep. Ocasio-Cortez hasn’t only come from men, or Republicans. Even former Senator Claire McCaskill weighed in, describing Rep. Ocasio-Cortez as, ““a bright and shiny new object who came out of nowhere and surprised people when she beat a very experienced congressman.”

In fact, Rep. Ocasio-Cortez has pulled off an incredible political achievement: she waged an effective campaign and won a seat in the House. But that’s not good enough. All women in the public eye draw criticism and commentary, not just for their politics and policies, but also for their appearance – as is the case with Senator Krysten Sinema, who was called out by a prominent Arizona Republican who took exception to what she wore when she was sworn into office.

Bruce Ash, a national GOP committeeman resorted to name-calling and said that “dumb ass people” helped get Sen. Sinema elected, she looked more looked more like “Senator Madonna” than the “Senator Barbie Doll” of her campaign.

Call me crazy but I can’t recall reading a single news story questioning a newly elected man’s attire. And as for Rep. Ocasio-Cortez being “not ready for prime time,” what about Rep. Paul Ryan, who was 28 when first elected in 1998 and has failed fact-checks for years. PolitiFact Wisconsin has collected some of his “pants on fire” claims on a special web page. Yet, he is considered an idea man, and no one has said he is unfit to serve in Congress or that he isn’t ready for prime time.

Everyone has biases and some of the issues that these women are facing are a direct result of those biases (the rest is just flat out sexism, but that’s a topic for another day). As we explain in In This Together: “It’s hard to see and talk about the stereotypes that create gender bias because we have absorbed them with every breath since birth. Some of these are internal and limit the aspirations and expectations we have for ourselves as women. Our culture has for a long time assigned men to every power position, so it’s no surprise that we automatically attribute authority to males of any species and see women’s helping roles as normal. Men certainly still run the worlds of business and politics, but many women are in denial about this because they just can’t believe that gender bias is still so widespread.”

The rush to criticize the women who were just elected shows how widespread gender bias is in the politics. If we are to create equality for all women, we have to call out the comments that seek to undermine women, name them as biases and talk about them. And if we want to see more women step into leadership roles, we need to encourage them and counteract the public ridicule they often face. Rep. Ocasio-Cortez, Sen. Sinema, and all of the newly elected women need our support beyond the ballot box. We need to defend their credibility and together change our perception of leadership. In my new book, we provide scripts and strategies for counteracting behaviors that undermine and denigrate women.

Order Dr. Nancy’s new book today!

Elisa Parker, who has co-founded several organizations to support women, including the award-winning multimedia program “See Jane Do,” has called Dr. Nancy’s new book “a game changer,” and Gloria Steinem has said it will “help us create community, success, and well-being.” Find out why and order your copy (and gifts for your friends) of In This Together: How Successful Women Support Each Other In Work and Life–thoughts, advice, and stories from 40 successful women across a variety of careers—from authors to actresses, CEOs and professors—encouraging women to support each other in the workplace and in life. Learn about action plans on how all women can work together to break free from the bonds of gender inequality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beating the Blues – 10 Ways to Have a Joyful New Year

When the glitter settles and the holidays bustle is finally over, many of us sink into sadness and feel blue and let down. Whether the causes lie inside, outside, or both, you can take a deep breath, refuse to feel bad, and get serious about taking control of your life and your emotions. Here are 10 proven strategies that will help you beat the blues and get your life back on a happy track.

  1. Grieve the loss. If past losses have caused your holiday blues, take time to finish grieving over your loss. It’s important to feel the sadness and grief and get clear about the reality of the loss. With acceptance, the intensity of the blues will lessen and a normal pleasure in life will return.
  2. Seek serenity. Many losses can be addressed through the principles of the Serenity Prayer: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Learning to identify which is which is a key to happiness after the holidays and all year round.
  3. Practice self-forgiveness. Repeat these messages:
    • “I deserve to be happy.”
    • “I am lovable.”
    • “I am valuable.”
  4. Stop obsessive thinking. Thoughts such as “I didn’t do it right, my gifts were lousy gifts, I said the wrong thing, it’s my fault, I woulda-shoulda-coulda,” can be stopped with a strategy of prayer or meditation.
  5. Avoid the ambush. Do not get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired, which can lead to poor judgment, bad decisions and regret. Stay away from substances and behaviors often used to numb pain, including alcohol, excessive spending or sexual relationships.
  6. Flee toxic people. Stay away even (or especially) if they are relatives. Increase time with people and environments of calm and good humor. Let go of resentments related to holidays past and declare an amnesty in family feuds.
  7. Take off the target. Some people’s families are downright predatory, turning as a group against one member. Being the target feels terrible, but don’t give credence to the criticism. Bring it into perspective by making a list of who was the target at the last six family gatherings.
  8. Practice extreme self-care. Manage stress by getting back to a normal routine as quickly as possible. Restore a balance of sleep, healthy eating, exercise and other activities. Exercise reduces anxiety and depression, so claim time for aerobic exercise, yoga, massage, spiritual practices or other calming activities.
  9. Reach out to other people. The blues naturally make a person withdraw,  instead seek out friendly nonjudgmental company.
  10. Volunteer. Helping someone in need will highlight the many reasons a person has for feeling gratitude despite the pain.

Is It More Than The Blues?

Depression can have many different causes and help is available. Please consult a mental health professional if three of these symptoms of real depression last more than a couple of weeks:

  • Change in appetite or weight
  • Dulled emotions, irritability, explosive anger
  • No enjoyment for usual activities
  • Change in sleep habits
  • Lack of energy
  • Inability to concentrate or make decisions
  • Social withdrawal
  • Suicidal thoughts or gestures
  • Feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, excessive or inappropriate guilt
  • Low self-esteem
  • Unresolved grief issues
  • Hallucinations or delusions

Thoughts of suicide should never be taken lightly. Instead, dial 911 in the USA or Canada or go to a hospital emergency room.

Know that happiness is your choice to make.  Focusing on loss and regret brings sorrow; focusing on gratitude and hope brings joy. Use your gratitude journal to get you started. Write down six things at the end of the day you are grateful for. You can start small and build from there. You’ll find when you turn the page and start being grateful for what you have that’s healthy and supports your happiness, more things, people, activities come your way.

 

How to Create Your Wonderful Holidays and Life

How have the holidays been going for you so far this year? Several years ago, divorce turned me back into a single woman after many years of marriage, and I’m happy to say my holidays these days feel just fine. The adjustment was challenging, and I confess I had some blue days, but by now I’ve learned that the secret to creating a wonderful holiday is to make my own choices and not allow other people’s stereotyped ideas to define me. Each of us has the right to spend the holidays the way we want to, right? Yes, you do, too. Yet, too often we let others dictate what we do, for our holidays and for our entire lives.

Women are doing that much less today than we used to because we are gaining more confidence in our own rights and abilities. We can learn a lot about this from single women because they build their lives outside the traditional stereotyped wife-and-mother roles for women. They may be single parents, or happily childfree, and heads of their own households. They pursue meaningful careers, and enjoy a rich social life, a strong and supportive circle of friends and family, are important to a lot of people and spread joy and good works throughout their communities.

During the holidays do your expectations keep you from seeing your circumstances for what they really are? Do you wear rose-colored glasses or focus on ways you fall short and feel depressed? One stereotype is that of the unhappy spinster alone at the holidays, but read on.

Bella de Paulo noted in Psychology Today that articles about making your unmarried life work focus almost exclusively on single women. Why? Because stereotypes assume women would rather be married and mothers, but the reality is quite different. Even more women than men said they thought being single helped them by allowing them to focus more on their work, or their studies, on making more friends, or on prioritizing their own needs. They said that being single makes them feel empowered, and able to enjoy the adventure and journey of their lives.

Many women who feel trapped by their choices imagine that becoming single is the only way to gain control of their lives. But what if you could ask for the support and assistance you want for your holidays rather than feeling trapped in impossible expectations? What if you could skip the parts of the holidays you hate and create new traditions? Guess what! You can. Go for it!

When women learn that I’m divorced, they say, “Well, you don’t have someone at home that controls your money.” I reply, “That’s right. Why do you?” It’s a worthy question. If you were in charge of YOUR life, what would you want your holidays – and your coming year — to look like?

Many women have never allowed themselves to ask such questions and feel like they have no choices. That’s not true at all. We learned a lot about stereotyped gender roles while working on my new book, In This Together: How Successful Women Support Each Other in Work and Life. It takes focused attention to change our holiday experiences, just as it takes work to change other parts of our lives. I’m convinced the best way to handle such discomfort is in solidarity with our women friends. Together, we can laugh at ourselves, create a vision for our futures, and find the courage to ask for what we want.

Here’s to creating the best holidays – and the best lives – that we can imagine for ourselves.

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