Code Switching: How to Talk so Men Will Listen

Posted on March 29th, 2013 by Dr. Nancy

how to talk so men will listenMen and women are different and we all know it. One of the most infuriating facts is the ways styles of communicating differ from one another. The fact is we have kinds od different brains, so it stands to reason we have different ways of approaching the world and of seeing things. It is also true many top minds have been trying for years to decode the differences. If we understood these differences, we would all be able to communicate more clearly and more effectively. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Think about the prospect: women and men actually understanding each other. This might mean there would be no more wars. Perhaps books, such as War and Peace, would no longer be required reading in English classes.

Does How We Are Raised Effect How We Talk to the Opposite Sex?

Okay, let’s not go overboard. I think we are making headway, but it will take more books like Code Switching: How to Talk so Men Will Listen, written by Claire Damken Brown, Ph.D. and Audrey Nelson, Ph.D. This book helps explain that women are reared to be relationship experts and men are raised to build and be more concrete. Women are raised to become nice and sweet and men are raised to become rough and tough and competitive.

Doctors Brown and Nelson know the land in which they travel. Both have backgrounds working with Fortune 50 companies. They borrow the term, “code switching” from linguistics where it is utilized to describe what happens when you journey to a different country and adapt to its language and customs. They define code switching as “the ability to use your knowledge of two or more cultures or languages and switch between them, depending on your situation, to best communicate your message.”

Men Are Direct, Women are Relationship Oriented

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