Gender Communication For Results and Advancement
Yes, things in the business world are getting better for women. And yes, we still have a ways to go. Women in leadership and executive positions stare down a double-edged sword daily. If their style is primarily assertive, decisive, task vs. relationship oriented, etc., they are labeled as too tough and masculine…the ‘b’ word. So does this mean don’t act like a man? Or, if a woman’s style is predominantly collaborative, supportive, and friendly, she is perceived as nice but less competent. So does this mean don’t act like a woman if she wants to advance? But what’s left – how is she supposed to act?
Women must walk a fine line in the business world, especially in longer-established industries such as financial services, insurance, automotive, and manufacturing. Using solely one gender communication style or the other can often backfire, much more so than it would for a man, as this inflexible behavior will illicit stereotyping and misperceptions of women’s competence and personality. Such behavior by men can cause judgment too, but less often and less severe, with milder consequences.
Eliminating these gender stereotypes is a valid but lofty and, for the foreseeable future, completely unattainable goal. So instead of focusing on eliminating stereotyping, the world would be better served by becoming aware of gender styles, accepting them merely as differences rather than right or wrong behaviors, and learning how to work with them more effectively. This approaches the issue by managing stereotypes, not expecting them to disappear.
The solution? Women will get the best results by recognizing that they are being judged more strictly, and by interacting and working with a blend of masculine and feminine styles. Men will get the best results by also working with a balance of styles, and by recognizing gender style differences as just that – merely differences – not right, wrong, bad or good. A different style does not translate to less competence, intelligence, or leadership ability.
No one needs to change who they are naturally, as all people are already a combination of both approaches (although many people, especially in business, get off track from their authentic blend). It’s a matter of flexibility, awareness, and having the skills to apply each style in appropriate situations.
So…Use a blend of feminine and masculine styles! Be trustworthy, honest, approachable, open, collaborative and supportive; while also taking risks, being assertive when necessary with courtesy, delegating, making the tough decisions, and promoting yourself appropriately.
GenderSmart Tips: 8 Tips for Influencing Up More Effectively
The following are a few communication and behavioral tips for women (or men with a feminine style) that will help improve productivity, working relationships, and chances for advancement.
- Be succinct, to the point, but not abrupt.
Hold details for back-up purposes. - Avoid tag questions, apologies, disclaimers.
“This is a good report, don’t you think?” Better would be, “Good report Jean.” Hear the difference in power? “Well, this is just my opinion, but…” Better would be, “I think we should…”. - Take credit for your accomplishments.
Or someone else might! - Give brief updates on your projects whether asked for or not.
You are not bragging! - Reduce personal disclosure and problems.
Men don’t bond and process the same way women do. This behavior makes them uncomfortable and they often view it in the workplace as weak and unstable. - Handle conflict directly, politely, with empathy.
Be clear, to the point, but not rude or abrupt. - Make most decisions independently.
Reduce the number of times you ask others for their opinion for consensus’ sake. Men often see this as indecision and lack of confidence. - Avoid strong displays of emotions.
People in power may see this as weakness – “too” emotional and not managerial.