I’ve always felt a real kinship with Joan Rivers. She was empowering, and both courageous and bold. She stuck her neck out and made a difference.
As a motivational speaker I’ve had to learn to use humor, and Joan was a real pioneer. At a time when there were few, if any women comedians, Joan fearlessly led the way with topics that interested and inspired women. Her ability to laugh at herself opened the gates for all of us to laugh at ourselves and the ridiculous things we do to satisfy cultural expectations, from “shoes to attract a sailor” to the “ultimate push up bra” and “my face before Botox.”
Among the flood of memories and honors, we will learn much about her and her life in the next few days. Joan Rivers always wanted to be in show business, but not necessarily a comedian. She had no role models. In her time, they were all white males: Jack Benny, Bob Hope, etc. She saw Phyllis Diller as a caricature and, although she wrote for Phyllis, that wasn’t her style.
She wanted to be real and so, like her peers, she began to talk about her life. Her peers of the time were other trail blazers–all guys: Richard Pryor, Dick Cavett, Bill Cosby, Woody Allen and George Carlin. They were pushing against their own cultural boundaries.
Empowered Woman Out Front
Joan was a woman alone, out in front on her own until she met Johnny Carson. He was her friend and mentor and when he made her the permanent substitute host for the “Tonight Show” it launched her career. But when she became his rival with her own show on Fox, it started a downward spiral, making an enemy of Johnny, her show getting canceled a year later and shortly thereafter, her husband’s suicide.
But like the phoenix, Joan excelled in rising from the ashes, reinvented herself and forged on. She emerged from not being able to get a job in television to winning an Emmy and many other awards. And she never stopped reinventing and moving and making us look hard at how we live and what we value.
Joan’s Advice: Do Your Best and Love the Process
According to The Hollywood Reporter, her advice for women comedians applies to anyone pursuing their passion. “First of all, don’t worry about the money. Love the process. You don’t know when it’s gonna happen… And don’t settle. I don’t want to ever hear, ‘It’s good enough.’ Then it’s not good enough. Don’t ever underestimate your audience. They can tell when it isn’t true. Also: Ignore your competition. A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: ‘Run your own race, put on your blinders’ Don’t worry about how others are doing. Something better will come.”