In a recent episode of Smart, Amazing Conversations With Dr. Nancy, Tony Porter described discovering what he calls “The Man Box,” the narrow set of cultural expectations that confines men’s identity within a rigid, often distorted, idea of what it means to be a man. That structure, he argues, contributes to an epidemic of violence, particularly against women, who are too often viewed as weaker or even as property. But the damage doesn’t stop there. Men are harmed as well. Denied the freedom to express real feelings for fear of ridicule, many retreat into silence and stoicism. For some, that suppression erupts into anger and violence. For others, it turns inward toward despair. When The Man Box limits healthy, mutually supportive relationships between men and women, everyone pays the price.
In 2002, Porter co-founded the organization, A Call To Men, with Ted Bunch. The organization has since become a driving force for promoting healthy masculinity and mobilizing hundreds of thousands of men as allies to women and girls. The organization offers training and educational resources for companies, government agencies, schools, and community groups to challenge norms and encourage healthier models of manhood. Gloria Steinem has called their work, “the basis for world peace.”
The State of Masculinity 2025
Throughout most of 2025, A Call to Men joined forces with thousands of allied organizations to produce a comprehensive new report, “The State of Masculinity 2025.” More than 200 participants shared candid reflections, creating what the report calls a “chorus of voices.” Together, those voices present masculinity, not as a fixed identity, but as a living culture, one that all of us shape, reinforce, and ultimately have the power to change. These conversations spanned people of every gender whose lives intersect with masculinity. Together, they offer a unique lens on the culture in this moment and how it might expand over the next 25 years.
Described as both “a cultural map and a field guide,” the report examines the systems that shape masculine identity: the norms we inherit, the roles we’re assigned, and the relationships that either narrow or expand our humanity. Its central premise is that lasting safety doesn’t come from discarding people who have caused harm. It comes from giving men real pathways to confront what they’ve done, make repairs, and change how they relate to others.
Overall Findings
The report’s core finding is stark. Men across the country describe inheriting the same limits: unexpressed tenderness, silence passed down like an heirloom, anger worn as armor, an unspoken rule that men don’t bend. Yet the report also captured real hope. Many dads and mentors are actively changing that inheritance, choosing to listen, stay present, and encourage their sons to express real affection and emotion.
Parenting and Mentorship
Parenting happens in many forms and through many people. The report notes that raising emotionally grounded, accountable men has always been a collective act. Not every man becomes a father, and not every child is raised by one, but care still happens regardless. One participant recalled that his coach was the first man who ever said he was proud of him. Variations on that sentiment, “a mentor saved my life,” appeared repeatedly. The report also highlights intergenerational healing both by families and communities as a way to create a clearer path to learning for today’s men while the upcoming generation is still watching.
Online Influences
To change the world with the long view, the report looks at how online behavior, algorithms, and AI are effectively co-parenting boys. Most boys, it notes, don’t go online looking for misogyny. They are seeking answers. One young man said, “My dad’s around, but he works nights. TikTok raised me more than he did.”
For a boy who is feeling alone or anxious, an algorithm offers a clean, easy answer. And a clip about confidence can become one about dominance, where “the good life” is measured in money, status, and self-assurance that never wavers. The report is blunt about why: algorithms reward what is loud, confident, and easy to measure, while healthy masculinity is subtle, relational, and complex, so it rarely trends.
And we all know the lure of the internet, the anonymity, and what seems to be engagement without risk. But online spaces are also designed “to reward what holds attention.” The report cites statistics from Equimundo’s “State of American Men 2025,” which found that nearly half of men reported that their online lives feel “more engaging and rewarding” than their offline ones. Many young men said that they felt “seen” online in ways they didn’t in real life.
AI is also playing a role, providing feelings of belonging according to Common Sense, which reported, “72% of teens have used AI companions, 52% use them regularly, and 31% said those conversations feel as satisfying or more satisfying than talking with real-life friends.” Online engagement offers a refuge amidst unavailable, judgmental in-person relationships, reinforcing a “narrow version of masculinity that prizes performance over reflection and certainty over connection.”
Awareness Through Education
But there is a counterweight. Educators in A Call to Men’s Healthy Masculinity Project, which has reached more than 2,300 boys and young men, report that participants grow more curious about why their feeds look the way they do once they understand the socialization behind masculinity. Healthy masculinity becomes possible, the report argues, when we stop asking boys to choose between being themselves and being accepted–when the world around them makes room for their softness, their confusion, their questions, their mistakes, and their capacity for growth. “When we do that, boys won’t need algorithms to raise them. They’ll have us.”
Emotional Literacy, Dating and Identity
The report calls emotional literacy, “the missing infrastructure” in many boys’ lives. One young man said that learning practical relational skills from A Call to Men’s Live Respect and Healthy Masculinity curriculum gave him a “map for dating.” It also examines how sexuality and identity intersect with masculinity, tracing some of today’s limits back to outdated ideas about what is acceptable. Fostering genuine belonging, it argues, is one of the most essential things we can do to support young men.
The benefits are clear. Those who feel they belong are less vulnerable to radicalization, less likely to engage in violence, more willing to explore identity openly, and more capable of empathy. As cultural conversations continue to expand our understanding of gender, the report concludes, masculinity has the chance to expand along with them.
Where Boys and Men Learn to Be Men
A Call to Men acknowledges that it is not the first teacher in a young man’s life. The report traces that influence across several systems, starting with family. What changes across these different structures isn’t whether masculinity is learned, the report notes, but how responsibility, care, authority, and belonging get distributed. From there, analysis turns to education, building the architecture of respect, and how educators are finding ways to turn empathy into an everyday practice. Settings where young people gather, like sports, college residence halls, and faith communities all offer opportunities for honesty and connection.
Workplaces tell a similar story, echoing national research. Each sector teaches a “distinct dialect of masculinity,” which shifts across class and context. In physical jobs versus corporate environments, emotional composure becomes a kind of currency, where economic conditions reward certain forms of masculinity and punish others. In some professions, like construction and trades, workers describe fierce loyalty. “One foreman said, ‘The guys look out for each other more than they know. They just won’t call it care.”
It’s the voices expressing honest feelings that make “The State of Masculinity 2025” a guidebook to the future. While pointing out the influences that shape masculinity in the present, the report shows how all of us are responsible for changing the story. It says plainly, “We are the answer. We are all people of influence.” We model masculinity in our relationships and our behavior—one interaction at a time.