After more than two years, 1,000-plus survey responses, and focus groups with women of nearly every age, it’s finally here! The new updated Timeless Women Speak, a book to help women feel their best at every stage of life. Why is this such a meaningful moment? When Dr. Nancy wrote the first Timeless Women Speak, she felt invisible and wondered if other women felt the same way. She imagined she was not alone in her experience as she struggled with how to process these new emotions. As a psychologist, trained to help others deal with their feelings, she wanted answers – so she designed a study, surveyed more than 1,200 women, and held focus groups. From this, she learned a great deal from her findings and wrote the first edition of Timeless Women Speak.
Published in 2008, the original book was, in many ways, ahead of its time. In those days, there was nothing exploring how women felt about aging. In fact, the word “age” was rarely spoken in reference to women. Conversations focused almost exclusively on youth and beauty, with endless pressure to appear “youthful.” Women were even criticized for aging—as if it were something they could control.
Today, the tide has turned. Women are feeling more empowered, and Dr. Nancy wanted to hear what they had to say. Once again, she designed a study, but instead of pursuing numbers—how many women felt or did this or that—she sought out answers from women in their own words. The new study’s open-ended questions invited women to express their feelings, share their stories, and offer advice from the role models and mentors in their lives. It also provided an opportunity for women to express what they had learned along the way, even advice they would give their younger selves. Younger women also expressed their feelings, and talked about what they were excited about, looked forward to, or dreaded in their future. Then the answers were examined qualitatively, summarized, and highlighted to present a complete picture with the depth and scope that represents lives being lived at every stage.
One thing has remained the same since 2008. When women have questions about life’s most personal issues, they seek out advice from another woman, which is why this new edition was organized similar to the earlier one, looking first at feelings by the decades, with each chapter covering everything learned from women in their 20s, 30s, 40s through 70s and 80s. The decades chapters provide an easy reference for readers to check out different ages individually, skipping around the decades to compare what women their own age said about their feelings with those of their mothers or another generation of women in their workplace. The 20s chapter is full of information about the various pressures women in their 20s face, including expectations from family and society, and feeling dismissed for being too young. On the flip side, women in their 50s and 60s face a different set of issues, also feel dismissed about some things, and even insulted for not having their experience valued.
Recognizing that we really can’t know what we don’t know. Timeless Women Speak pushes beyond the barriers of bias to create understanding through the actual words of women from diverse ages, backgrounds, and ethnicities. It reveals not only the feelings themselves, but positive ways to respond, gain understanding, and develop relationships by listening, sharing, and connecting through our stories.
In Part 2 of the book, we focus on many of the topics mentioned in survey responses that required additional research about what affects how we feel, like outside influences from society, marketing, peers and family; how we feel about our appearance (that invisibility thing), what makes us feel that way and how different women react to it (some even welcome it); and other topics that help us live better lives—like self-care, worries about health, attitudes about money, and the importance of relationships and community as we age. Everything in this updated edition of Timeless Women Speak is designed to answer questions and provide information to help women understand what they’re facing at every age—helping them make informed choices about actions they take to make life easier and absolutely more fun.
We found that most women no longer dread or fear the aging process. In fact, most responded that aging was better than the alternative, while others expressed a carpé diem attitude, grateful to be where they are, and not standing still while waiting for tomorrow. Those with more negative feelings have much to teach as well. The subtitle, “Power, Purpose, and Feeling Your Best at Every Age” describes the goal of this book to help women do just that. In living with power and purpose throughout their lives, women can achieve a timeless quality not limited by age, and experience unlimited opportunities for success, enjoying a life well-lived throughout their lives.