Conversations

World Change Begins in Your Heart

Author, Speaker, Humanitarian

Dr. Paula Fellingham

Humanitarian and global women’s movement leader, Dr. Paula Fellingham continues to point her light toward spreading world peace and women’s empowerment for every woman on the planet. As an author of seven books, a teacher, musician, grandmother and winner of both the “Outstanding Leadership and Service” award from President Obama and the “Points of Light” award from President George W. Bush, Paula is propelling her social profit foundation, The Global Prosperity and Peace Initiative, to reach more people than any such endeavor ever has in the history of the world. Paula says each individual must see and accept peace within themselves before we can change the world. Therefore, her peace lessons begin within the heart, and she then shows how to share them in the home, and finally expand into humanity.

Target Date: International Women’s Day, March 3, 2019

Building on the landmark celebration in the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day in 2011, Paula is collaborating with organizations all over the world to launch a program developed by women for women celebrating all we have done, and providing a platform for women to help one another around the world. Using the video conference technology of Zoom, Paula is working to  produce a program that will reach 400 Million people 36,000 live events in every nation on the planet. This massive collaboration will also be available for download on Hulu.

Become a National Peace Ambassador

Paula invites everyone listening to become a National Peace Ambassador. You can sign up on PeaceandProsperityInitiative.org. It’s free and completely volunteer. You can participate as much as you want, but she has made it easy through the peace lessons, called “Peace Is Possible” which she developed for people to give in their own home. The lessons are adaptable to every age group and address problems people have every day.
Originally developed as a program for Rotary International, Paula’s “Peace is Possible” lessons teach participants how to be kind and loving to themselves, their children, brothers, sisters, classmates. She advises how to resolve conflicts in concrete practical ways, how to combat bullying and many more daily life issues. Her focus is on prevention and letting each human being know how precious they are, focusing on the fact that everyone matters and needs to believe that about themselves and everyone they meet.
Listen to more words of wisdom and inspiring projects from these two dedicated humanitarians, Dr. Nancy and Dr. Paula. Hear true stories about how women working together are making the world a far better place to live in. Check out Paula’s website, PaulaFellingham.com, and learn more about her women’s organizations that are founded on the same principles of women helping women as WomenConnect4Good, Inc.

Push Her Forward and Vote Her In

Political Activist for Women

Rebecca Sive

Rebecca Sive was raised to work hard, get educated and in turn, teach others. Most of all she was raised by parents who thought it was important to advocate for democratic values and help get people elected to create equal opportunities and fairness for all. Since the 2016 election, and the subsequent Women’s March, Rebecca has been inspired to increase her advocacy for women and write her newest book, Vote Her In: Your Guide to Electing Our First Woman President.

#VOTEHERIN

Convinced that the time is now, Rebecca points out that a woman already got elected to the presidency by the popular vote. A fact she uses to make the case that the American people, both men and women, are ready for a woman president. In Vote Her In, she helps women – especially those who did not vote for the woman for president – see how they actually voted against their own interests.
Rebecca explains that the road to better health care, improved child care and education for all is by electing a woman president. Women understand the need for these things, which is why it just doesn’t make sense to vote for someone who does not address the issues in their policies. She also explains the ways that a woman president would help women reach parity sooner, first by demonstrating the ways that women make great leaders, and second through policies to promote equal pay and status in the workplace.

“When A Woman Leads, Everyone Wins.”

Women are proving that they can lead every day. In fact, as a result of their leadership, companies are more profitable, and policies are more beneficial to all. When Dr. Nancy asked Rebecca who might run for president, Rebecca pointed out that women have been running and winning for years. Although only one-fifth of the Senate are women and there are only six governors, there are a number of women who have executive experience. She predicted that after the 2018 mid-terms, a pool of women would start to throw their hats into the ring. Early next year, they will begin fundraising and announcing their intentions for 2020. She predicted that regardless of where you stand ideologically or politically, you will have a choice and begin to see women leaders speaking out.
In the second part of Vote Her In Rebecca encourages women to get behind the woman they choose and help her get elected. This how-to section of the book gives readers advice and direction for how to engage with the political process and push that deserving woman toward the presidency. Rebecca says women do it all the time. We lift each other up and help one another achieve our goals. We can elect a woman president and the country is very ready for it.
Listen to this interview for more inspiring comments and insights. Check out Rebecca’s website and get her book—ready for pre-order right now. Use #VOTEHERIN whenever possible and get this movement moving. If all of us push together we can Vote Her In!

Guiding Women from College to Career

Susan Kellogg points out that when she began her career in fashion 30 years ago, only 15 percent of the CEO positions at Fortune 500 companies were filled by women. When she left her job as group president of VF Corporation, the needle hadn’t moved—still only 15 percent. In spite of the fact that women are over half the population and are earning more college degrees than men, they still lag behind in positions of top corporate leadership. So Susan decided to help by filling in the mentoring gap between college and career.
As a graduate of UCLA, Susan joined that university’s board for the sociology department and also serves on board for the Cal Poly Pomona Apparel Merchandising & Management and Agriculture Departments. She notes that we’re doing a great job of educating women to prepare them for leadership careers, but there is little follow-through after that. Now, as a consultant pursuing her mission to give back, Susan guides women in their senior year to make choices that puts them on the path toward successful leadership careers.

Choosing That First Job after School

Susan says that people get paralyzed by that first job, but it doesn’t have to be the perfect job. It doesn’t even have to be the right job and it certainly doesn’t have to be what you’re going to do for the rest of your life. She urges women to ask themselves:

  • Is it interesting?
  • Is this something I can dedicate myself to?
  • Do I find it inspiring?
  • Do I have talent in this area?

If in the first year, it’s not right for you, move on. She says to treat every job experience as adding to your tool box. Even if you realize that you made a mistake, sign up for a year, then figure out your next step and redirect your path.
She also advises that you don’t have to move up every time or even make more money. She moved sideways, accepted a less prestigious title, even less money if it would take her to a company she wanted to work for and where she wanted to live. She always had to feel that she was learning something new and there was opportunity to advance.

“Women Can Have It All, Just Not All at the Same Time.”

Susan reflects that people often ask her if she has any regrets and she answers “no.” She did miss a lot of weddings and funerals, but while on her corporate path, she did all she wanted to do. And she helped other women along the way. A point of pride is that she prioritized racial and gender diversity in her new hires, although qualified women weren’t always available in the technical areas of production and finance.
Also, she notes how sad she would feel if she never had her daughter and believes women need more than a career to feel fulfilled. However, because women’s partners often do not do an equal share of domestic chores, they fall behind in networking and other activities that would advance them into senior positions at work.
Listen to this interview for more insights from a woman who has been in the top ranks of the corporate world, been the only woman in the board room, and continues to work toward helping women achieve a greater percentage of top leadership positions. Learn about what women need to do to achieve their fair and equal share of CEO positions. Whether you’re just starting out, making a transition or looking for a way to give back yourself, this conversation will help inspire your next move.

Who Are You, As An Individual?

Author, Speaker, Coach

Elizabeth Suarez

Who are you is the first question coach and author Elizabeth Suarez asks her clients. She said that women almost always answer in terms of who they are married to, or who their children are. Elizabeth said the key is you can’t have what you want until you decide who you are as an individual. Yes, you have relationships with those other people, but who you are, what your interests are and how you feel about your family all combine to unleash your negotiation potential for yourself.
Elizabeth praised her mother for not giving up after her father died. Her mother was a tremendous negotiator for everyone else, but not for herself. Elizabeth worked her way up the corporate ladder in the days when she was told to keep her place and put in her time. She was told when she reached a certain level, people would listen to her ideas. Today’s world is changing and she feels that we all have the right and responsibility to contribute, but first you have to figure out who you are.

Key to Getting Everything

Elizabeth’s new book, The Art of Getting Everything, looks at our personal talents and traits as “net worth.” We all have it, but we must assess it honestly and identify how we contribute to the greater good in our careers and elsewhere in life. She compared it to navigating the New York subway, which is necessary to survive and get around in NYC. There are three major lines in life that may intersect anywhere:

  • Your career
  • Your family
  • Your interests

The foundation of getting everything is figuring out how to navigate the intersections. Elizabeth encourages her clients to get outside of their bubble and network with others to get help negotiating these intersections. In this interview, she used the example of someone who is expecting a baby and was just asked to be the CEO of a major company branch. This woman doubted her ability to do it all when she remembered meeting another woman who had twins while launching a new international division that moved several million dollars in revenue.  Elizabeth advised us to learn from other people’s stories, to reach out and listen to those stories and share ours as much as possible. You never know when you need that valuable lesson or that intersection of abilities to help you through a difficult time. It’s important to remember that you can have it all, but maybe not all at the same time.

Put Your Own Face Mask on First

Since Elizabeth spends a lot of time flying, she used the instructions from the flight attendant as the most crucial bit of career advice. Take care of yourself and the rest will fall into place. Start by doing this one thing for yourself–listen to this podcast. Then go to Elizabeth’s website and download the free “Negotiation Unleashed” Workbook to think through the key pieces to your net worth. Buy her book, and get started developing your skills in a new art form, The Art of Getting Everything.

Telling Our Stories Heals Us

Author, Speaker, Media Producer, Social EntrepeneurTess Cacciatore is a storyteller who has won awards for her productions that tell the stories of people around the world. But her most powerful story is her own, and she tells it in her new Amazon bestselling book, Homeless to the White House. In this conversation, Tess talked about the discoveries she made on her journey from escaping a bullet in the Congo to singing “We Are One” on the White House lawn, and how all of it confirmed her resolve to dedicate her life to telling powerful stories to liberate and empower people throughout the world.
“Writing is a wonderful tool,” Tess told Dr. Nancy. It will help you heal, whether you write your daily thoughts in a journal or a short story, book or film. Her book took eight years to write and the telling was possibly more emotional than the experiences themselves. She didn’t fully realize how close she had come to death, while making a documentary in the Congo. Telling that story, and many others, created a laser focus on how she lived her life. It led her to examine the choices she had made that were not just mistakes, but created unhealthy relationships, lead to domestic violence and actually almost got her killed. Ultimately, she began to see all of the adversity that she experienced as a blessing, and that allowed her to progress to the next—and infinitely better—chapter.

#Reveal2Heal Cultural Movement

Tess’s mission as a filmmaker, speaker, author and social entrepreneur is to drive change by inspiring women and men from around the world to join forces and have their voices heard. Her story taught her three important lessons:

  1. Every story has value. Besides the healing you experience in the telling and relieving regrets, guilt, self-recrimination, or hateful grudges against other people, it can help others who are going through similar experiences.
  2. Forgiveness of yourself is first and foremost. She related that the blueprints we all carry from our youth, whether we’re told that we’re fat, ugly, stupid, lazy or whatever, have to be erased. The only way to do that is to forgive yourself. You have to do that before you can forgive anyone else. Complete forgiveness must take place before you can progress to the third most important lesson.
  3. Self-love is the most transformative. Tess said that she always felt that she loved herself, but she didn’t understand what that truly meant until she forgave herself and everything she perceived as being bad. That was when she began to see the world through different eyes, developed empathy for others and opened to all of the generosity and abundance that is available when your heart is truly open.

The Birth of GWEN

Tess said that the end of her book is really only the beginning of her story. Although she has always been passionate about human rights, the value of every human being, and felt outrage at judgments against others for being different, she rose to new determination to help the world transform itself. She founded The Global Women’s Empowerment Network (GWEN), a 501c3 that works with and connects to other charities to benefit women and children around the world. She also founded the GWEN Studios, a production company that utilizes the power of media and technology to enable people to share their stories and transform their lives.  Launching this summer, GWEN Studios is working with others to create a network to reach 250 million households. Tess wants to encourage anyone wanting to find their voice to reach out to her and GWEN. She plans to broadcast all kinds of content from documentaries, features, short films and TV series to a whole music division.
Buy Homeless to the White House on Amazon. And listen to this conversation for more about Tess’s story. Then check out Tess’s website and the Global Women’s Empowerment Network to learn how you can connect in these exciting initiatives to share, heal and transform our stories.

Strategies to Create Social Change

From actress and theater major to change-maker for lasting social impact, Linda Hartley’s path proves that life’s winding road will lead to your passion and purpose, if you listen and follow your heart. In fact, that is the key to successful leadership and finding fulfillment in your life’s work. Linda’s love for arts and culture lead her to acquire an MBA and work in the non-profit sector (social-profit) in several institutions, including establishing the first professional development department for Bard College, whose annual giving leapt from $375,000 to $1.2 million in the first 20 months.  Now, she has partnered with Vivien Hoexter to found H2Growth Strategies, LLC, and help mission-driven organizations—“social-profits,” foundations and corporations—develop strategies to improve performance, increase revenues and create lasting social impact for a more enlightened world.
With their combined track record, Linda and Vivien have helped more than 100 organizations raise over $1.5 billion to date. Now, they have gone one step further and written a book to help everyone put the strategies of great leaders to work on their own missions. BIG IMPACT: Insights & Stories from America’s Non-Profit Leaders shares ideas from nearly 50 leaders to help you cultivate and grow a plan for whatever change you’d like to make. Linda said that they looked for “common threads” among the advice, starting with getting to know you questions, like “What was the best and worst thing that ever happened to you?” to “What is the role of the non-profits of bridging the urban-rural divide in this country?” From these broad-based questions, they found 17 principles that provided common ground.

The Unintended Gift

One of the most outstanding qualities Linda and Vivien found in the leaders was a high level of emotional intelligence. Linda related the personal story of Leon Botstein, who had served as a staffer, and then long-time President of Bard College. His eight-year-old daughter ran across the street on campus and was killed by a car early in his career. He told Linda, “Rather than turning disappointment into tragedy and into an excuse for feeling like a powerless victim, I tried to recognize the unintended gift that comes from tragedy and failure.” Linda likened it to a prize fight, where you must have the ability to get back up after being knocked down. One common thread through the interviews were stories of personal tragedy and how those were used to propel their work and lives going forward.

Common Threads—Advice from Top Leaders

One common thread through this interview was how different it is to work for a mission-driven organization. Dr. Nancy said, the people are different because they care about what their organization does. They feel invested in its outcome. That was also one of the key points of advice from the leaders, whether it’s on staff or as a board member, they stressed working in direct service for non-profit organizations. Other key points were

  • Sharpen your leadership skills
  • Honor Your emotional intelligence and self-awareness
  • Look at work-life balance
  • Seek out and cultivate mentors
  • Plan for the inevitable.

That final point was very important to every leader. They advised to put a successor in place, so what you had built wouldn’t stop if something should happen to you. Even if that successor wasn’t picked by the organization, providing a system for longevity past your own service on a board or as the leader of an organization is very important.

Building a Movement

Movements are built by individual organizations partnering together. Linda reviewed the qualities that made organizations successful and how they achieved what they set out to do. One that she used as an example was the successful campaign for “Freedom to Marry.” In fact, that campaign was so successful, the legislation it promoted was passed and has dissolved since there is no longer a need for that social change.
Of course many missions to solve the world’s problems are more complicated and require many different strategies, one of which is development of the board of directors. Linda says that it’s important to have many different levels of expertise among the board members. Organizations seeking social change include social scientists; many include attorneys, marketing professionals, accountants, and others who can provide services the organization can’t afford to pay for.
For that next step—to build a movement—organizations need to come together. When they meet one another and find their common ground, they can plan actions to expand their goals. Board development, convening to leverage their power and funds, and planning were the three key strategies that Linda said they guide organizations to use.

Self-Expression Important for Fundraising

Linda began her journey with her love for the theater, which linked her with art and culture. She said that people give their time and treasures according to what they care about. It provides meaning to their lives and that’s how H2Growth Strategies helps their clients grow their missions. Listen to this interview for more stories and advice. And check out the H2Growth Strategies website for more enlightening information and details about the book, Big Impact.

Champions for Change

Speaker, Author

Trudy Bourgeois

Trudy Bourgeois urges women to become champions for change. Trudy is a renowned and respected authority on leadership development and founder of The Center for Workforce Excellence, which transforms organizations through focusing on developing leadership skills with an emphasis on learning how to develop talent across differences. She built her outstanding reputation by experiencing a lifetime of “firsts.” Growing up African American during segregation in the South provided her ample opportunities to strive for equality and simultaneously check each advancement off for herself and other women like her. She says that she is grateful for each of her “firsts” because they help her understand how to help people get to their next level and reach their greatest potential.
When Trudy was the first woman of color vice president in the tobacco industry, diversity and inclusion weren’t even business concepts. Women were told they were too collaborative; they needed to be more strategic.  Now, she says that we’re in the fourth industrial revolution where technology outpaces technology and we can only out-distance the competition by investing in our people—our most important resource—and bringing everyone together. Companies who don’t leverage their talent and ability to change will not be in business long in this new competitive environment

Equality Depends on Having Courageous Conversations

In her third book, EQUALITY: Courageous Conversations about Women, Men, AND Race in the Workplace to Spark a Diversity and Inclusion Breakthrough, Trudy describes “5 Brutal Facts for Obtaining Equality.” She lists the old paradigms that used to work for companies, including outdated leadership models where leaders don’t understand “how to manage the most diverse workforce in history,” and points out how most of the research has been done on men and most of the research that includes women, focuses on white women. Bottom line, although there’s a lot of talk about diversity, leaders are not held accountable for leading in inclusive ways.
But women can change all that. Trudy discusses how the pendulum is swinging back the other way from the 90% white male power structure to an awakening of the female spirit with the #MeToo movement. She says that for a long time, when women rose to the top, they didn’t want to admit they were women. They took on the male persona. But that is changing and organizations are gaining an appreciation for the natural skills that women have exhibited all along.

Women Must Reach Out to Other Women

Trudy talks a lot in her new book and in this conversation about how women need to step up as thought leaders and be champions for change with no apology. Women haven’t been told we are good. We need to do that for ourselves and for other women. She encourages women to reach out and “pour into another woman” whenever there is an opportunity. Reach out to someone who is not like yourself. She also urges women to listen and learn. In her book, she uses the example of how Marilyn Monroe gave Ella Fitzgerald a hand-up by sitting in the front row of her nightclub performances to get her career started in clubs that wouldn’t hire a black singer. We may never have heard the name of Ella Fitzgerald, or more importantly never received the gift of her voice without another woman using her privilege to pour into another woman.
Listen to this interview to learn more about how Trudy says women must come to grips with our own biases and work together for equality. Check out her social media pages, her website http://workforceexcellence.com/, read her blog at Huffington Post, and get her amazing book to learn more about how she says we can be champions for change by reaching an olive branch out to someone who isn’t exactly like us.

Doing What You Love Creates Good Karma

filmmaker, founder 360 Degree Karma

Catherine Gray

Filmmaker, Catherine Gray founded 360 Karma as a platform for her initiatives to inspire and empower women through her many film and event productions, including the “Live, Love Thrive” talk show and conference and her new “She Angel” investor program. Always reaching out for ways to help people who have no voice, Catherine produced the first documentary about gay marriage, called “I Can’t Marry You.” After pounding the pavement for years to get it aired and seen, PBS finally asked for it just after the first two cities in the United States legalized gay marriage. To celebrate Gay Pride Month in 2003, PBS aired it and shared the stories of long-time couples who had been denied basic marital rights in our society because of their life-mate choices.
Speaking for the underdog and empowering them through their stories is a recurring theme in Catherine’s work. She expresses amazement at the women she interviews on her talk show, especially for their ability to overcome obstacles and make a difference in the world. Catherine’s belief that we are here to use our gifts and do what we love guides her to use her gifts as a filmmaker and storyteller to help others use theirs. That is the secret of living a happy life and creating good karma. Her “Live, Love Thrive” guests benefit by being able to share their stories and the viewers benefit by being inspired to follow their dreams.

Take the Lead 50 Women Can

Serving on the advisory board for 50 Women Can Change the World in Media and Entertainment is an extension of Catherine’s advocacy for the underdog. She is adamant about the impact of film and television on the way we see things. By educating people and showing them things that aren’t in their own sphere of life, these top 50 women will go back to their companies and help accelerate women into positions of influence, meaning more women writers, producers and directors. She sees it as a way to massively change the content of movies and TV in a positive way. Both she and Dr. Nancy note that with women currently representing only 4% of movie directors, the messages and stories are extremely limited. Creating a catalyst like Take the Lead’s 50 Women Can multiplies the opportunities to funnel more women into the filmmaking process, increasing feminine energy and empowering all women of all religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations and races. All women working together with men can create the most positive impact for positive change.

She Angels Investing Initiative

Originally named “She Tank,” Catherine’s new initiative to help women fills in the gap of the lack of investment capital for women-owned businesses. Although the statistics show that women businesses largely are more successful than those started by men, only 3% of venture capitalist dollars go to women and only 15% of traditional funding does. “She Angels” puts women together with women investors, giving them an event to pitch their business idea and get the funding and mentoring support they need. The first event premiered in Los Angeles recently and Catherine looks forward to expanding it to other cities throughout the United States.

More to Come

Check out Catherine’s book of inspiring stories about women overcoming adversity and triumphing over trauma in her book Live, Love Thrive: Inspiring Women’s Empowerment. Tune in to “Live, Love, Thrive” talk show on UBN (Universal Broadcasting Network). Episodes are also re-broadcast on YouTube, social media, iHeart Radio and iTunes. Check out her website for upcoming events, https://www.360karma.com/, to join her community, to be a guest on “Live Love Thrive” or simply connect through e-mail or social media.
Listen to this interview for more of Catherine’s personal story and insights to how we can help empower one another through our stories.

Speak Your Truth with Personal Passion

Rabbi Laurie Coskey

Women should speak their truth about whatever incites their personal passion, urges Rabbi Laurie Coskey, Ed.D., whether that is the environment, the homeless, prejudice against various groups—in whatever way you can. It may mean joining the Rotary in your community (Laurie is a long-time member); you might join the PTA; you could volunteer at a victim’s center. Whatever stirs your passion, reach out to others and work together to make positive change. As a social justice advocate, Laurie’s lifework is to obtain fairness and dignity for everyone and she works tirelessly to achieve it for people who don’t have enough power to do it for themselves..
Her commitment to improving the lives of those in need is inspired by her Jewish background, her chosen vocation of rabbi, and her belief that the greatest gift we have to give one another is our love. In that regard, she serves on various boards in San Diego including the Interfaith Worker Justice. Her work there inspired her powerful TEDx Talk about the San Diego interfaith clergy who reached out to officials to stop disappearing immigrants and their families in 2007.

To Create Real Change, We Must Change the Systems.

Laurie realized the importance of changing systems, which she chose as the subject for her doctoral study. She continues to win victories for the issues she is passionate about through negotiation and teamwork. As an advocate, she learned not to lead the people who need her advocacy, but instead to walk beside them and help amplify their voices.
In this interview, she tells a heroic story about janitorial workers in office buildings organizing for better working conditions. The women who do the work are often single mothers who may speak little or no English and they work for male supervisors at night, who can control them through rewards or penalties based on sexual favors. These courageous, powerless women overcame their fear and stood up and spoke out. They do not participate in the #MeToo movement, but the activists who are helping them did appear at the Grammy Awards this year. Things are changing, Laurie says, one squeaky wheel at a time.

Our Lives Will Change When Women Become Legislators

Dr. Nancy and Rabbi Laurie share their concern that women’s perspective is often ignored. The male perspective has created our current system and to change it women must get involved. Besides getting involved in our communities, Laurie encourages women to run for public office, while admitting that it is a huge commitment to serve in elected office. Things really will not change until we make different policies, which women can do by winning elected office at their community, state or national level. She stresses that with so few women at the top of our organizations, it’s time for women not just to integrate, but to lead. That is when we will see significant change that affects everyone’s daily lives.
Listen to this interview for more wonderful stories about Laurie’s life and experiences. She invites anyone who would like a personal rabbi (Jewish or not) to contact her via twitter, Facebook or Linked-In. She is happy to listen and reply. Check out this news video about Laurie’s work in San Diego for more inspiration about what a difference community involvement can make.

Kindness Equals Love in Action

Dr. Tara Cousineau

Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Tara Cousineau reacted to the cruelty of mean girls by becoming a kindness warrior and set out to make the world a kinder place. Dr. Cousineau maintains that kindness is a natural human action. We all start out being kind and compassionate to other people, then life happens. We may experience war, trauma, poverty, or other hardships and survival takes over. She maintains that because of our basic need to survive, the initial purity of thought and kindness for others is diminished, or even buried beneath our more urgent needs. However, she urges everyone to work at kindness. Whatever we feel and express is contagious. It’s up to each of us to decide what we want to share: meanness, which is an expression of hate, or kindness–an expression of love. Dr. Cousineau advises that we intentionally choose kindness for ourselves and others.

Kindness Is the Energy of Healing

When Dr. Cousineau talks to people about kindness, it is often dismissed as a soft, unimportant skill. But as a kindness warrior, she has the research to prove that it’s not only beneficial for us to express kindness, it’s a healthy choice. She calls it “the energy of healing.”  When confronted with a daily bombardment of negativity in the world, she uses kindness and compassion as a heart, mind, body remedy to stay happy and healthy. Her new book, The Kindness Cure: How the Science of Compassion Can Heal Your Heart and Your World, shares the science and the technique for creating compassion for yourself and for others.
Dr. Nancy shares her experience watching caregivers burn out and become unable  to help the people they serve with compassion. Dr. Cousineau says that it’s actually “empathy-fatigue” that makes them unable to continue to relate to the pain and suffering of those they care for. Empathy is the emotion where we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Caregivers’ stress response is to shut down when they can no longer tolerate another person’s pain. She says that’s especially true for caregivers of elderly parents with Alzheimer’s.  That’s when it’s important to create boundaries and care for and be kind to yourself.  Kindness and compassion is an uplifting experience, a tender loving emotion, not a negative one. Saying no, setting boundaries and caring for oneself in these instances, is an expression of kindness for yourself.

Contagious Kindness—3 Degrees of Separation

Dr. Cousineau says that there is a measurable mathematical result from sharing. When we share kindness with a friend, that friend shares it with another friend, who shares it with another friend. When it reaches the third friend of a friend, it mathematically has the capacity to come back to you. She also notes that in the worst of times, her mother told her to look for the helper. It harkens back to “Mr. Rogers Neighborhood,” but is a life lesson. Everyone who has done anything positive in the world has one person who has helped in some way—shared kindness through appreciation of that person’s talent or simply in their value as a human being. It is beyond being nice and polite, it is being truly compassionate for other people, recognizing kinship and unity with them.
Listen to this interview for more stories about how kindness can generate positive emotions and results in the world. Check out Dr. Cousineau’s website and take the quiz to find out your kindness quotient. Then get the cure with her new book and set your intention to promote kindness. It will literally lighten your day.

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