Conversations

Soar As Iron Butterflies

World leadership is undergoing a quiet revolution

Author of Iron Butterflies

Birute Regine

You won’t find out about it in the headlines or on the chatter of morning talk. But it’s there and it’s happening in waves among women who are slowly recognizing their power and how they can work together to find the balance that has been missing from world leadership.
One of the most resonating voices reporting on the progress of the revolution is Dr. Birute Regine. This amazing author, educator and developmental psychologist spent eight years on a labor of love interviewing women from all walks of life: from world political leaders to dancers, CEO’s and even a wise aboriginal elder. Then she coined the phrase, “Iron Butterflies,” to describe women who understand their strengths as women—their flexibility, vulnerability and knowledge of cooperation and collaboration to lead others and achieve balance and success themselves.
Iron Butterflies: Women Transforming Themselves and The World promises to be a landmark book charting women’s progress in the 21st century.  Listen to this inspirational Conversation with Dr. Nancy to learn how women are evolving and revolutionizing world leadership and how you can take your place among them.

 

Live with Passionate Optimism: Survive a Crisis In Health, Make This Best Year

Optimism!By Dr. Nancy D. O’Reilly, Psy.D.

If you are waiting for something to happen before you can be happy and feel good about your life, you need to stop waiting and be happy now.  Get out of the doldrums and “Carpe Diem!” That’s Latin for Seize the Day!

That’s the philosophy of Dr. Elaine Dembe, a 62-year-old chiropractor from Toronto, Canada. She is also an inspiring keynote speaker, one of Canada’s outstanding authorities on stress resiliency, longevity and motivation, and an elite athlete who has run 17 marathons and celebrated her 60th birthday by climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.

Dr. Elaine advises women to continually try new things and challenge themselves, as well as to keep in shape. Her two best-selling books are Use the Good Dishes: Finding Joy in Everyday Life and Passionate Longevity: The 10 Secrets to Growing Younger.

Women who continue to feel young and happy throughout the decades of their lives usually have someone they look up to and regard as a mentor. My own role model for passionate living was my dear grandmother, Mama Nancy, who never let her tiny stature make her feel small.

Dr. Elaine is a role model of being all you can be and not letting those birthday candles dictate what you can do. She says too many people ask, “How can I do that at my age?” instead of focusing on what they want and doing it anyway.

When Dr. Elaine was about 30 she started running to get back in shape after completing chiropractic school. “I wanted to give my patients a good example,” Elaine says. “There weren’t that many women running at that time.”  She became the go-to woman for local television stations interested in sports injuries.

She faced the major losses of divorce and her mother’s death, then decided to write a book about extraordinary older adults. “They were living the kind of life I wanted to live.”

Strengthen Bonds This Year

It’s sad when women allow themselves to feel invisible and dismissed as they get older. Not Dr. Elaine! “Growing older is a time to strengthen bonds,” she says. “It is a time for personal growth, for tapping into your own inner wisdom, your own creativity. These are the things that keep you passionate and young.” Dr. Elaine refuses to allow bodily frailty to slow her down. “Right now I have osteoarthritis in my right big toe. Thankfully, it doesn’t bother me when I run, but I can’t wear high heels.

Rather than complaining that our society doesn’t revere older people, Dr. Elaine cites a Buddhist philosophy: “Comparing is the root cause of suffering.” You can choose to be grateful and appreciative of waking up today, or you can compare today to how you felt 30 years ago.

She’s also an optimist, and optimists are happier, healthier and they live longer than pessimists. Dr. Elaine says people who have the greatest difficulty have pessimistic thoughts like, “Oh, what’s the use. I can’t do it anymore. I’m getting older.” Be aware of what you’re thinking, she cautions. Challenge your pessimistic thoughts…and ask, “Wait a minute is this true?”

Return to Your Basic, Happy State

People who stay healthy, fit and happy as they grow older tend to be resilient optimists with “an unsinkable spirit.” Even when they are challenged or feel sad, they dig themselves out of the pit and return to a basic happy state. She says it helps to interpret events as having meaning and purpose and to say things like, “It was meant to be. I know I’m going to get through this.”

I’ve seen this happen in my crisis response work. I was there after 911, after the fires in California and Hurricane Katrina. I saw people who had gone through the worst event of their lives saying, “Well, I still have my house” or “I still have my children.” Dr. Elaine and I agree that the people who do the very best are fluid and flexible with good support systems. They have:

  • Healthy relationships
  • Manageable levels of conflict
  • Equanimity
  • Family or friends who love and support them
  • Faith that helped them
  • Modest needs
  • An ability to find joy in everyday little things.

“Happiness is there all over the place,” Dr. Elaine says. “You just have to open your eyes and see it.”

As a psychologist, I know people need to give themselves permission: “It’s okay to feel good. It’s okay to be successful. It’s okay to have love. It’s okay to belong.” That’s one of the benefits of getting older: we stop worrying about what other people think and give permission to be ourselves with passion and purpose. When people find their authentic voice and the elite human being inside, they discover they have so much to offer. Dr. Elaine offers several keys for connecting with your authentic self. She urges us to focus on keeping our bodies strong so our health span of disability-free years will match our life spans.

Do This for Physical and Mental Health

Her prescription:

  • Train with weights
  • Cultivate core muscle strength
  • Reduce body fat through good nutrition
  • Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep
  • Be optimistic
  • Maintain healthy relationships
  • Find something you love to do
  • Keep your brain strong by continuing to learn
  • Do something that scares you that you never thought you could do.

Most of all, she says we should challenge ourselves to find our courage. Don’t sit back and rust out! Dr. Elaine had never written books before, but now she has written two bestsellers. She started rapping, then she learned to tap dance. She loves being in an “expansion mode” where she thinks, “What’s the next thing I’m going to do?” There’s no end to wonderful things out there.

Let’s follow Dr. Elaine’s example. Let’s NOT put up boundaries and limit what we can do. Instead, we can keep ourselves healthy and growing, vibrant and alive, throughout our lives!

Power of Communications

Founder of empowercom.us, media and communications coach

Lynn Wilford Scarborough

If your lack of communication skills stops you from achieving your goals, you must hear this 29-minute conversation.

Communication is power in today’s world and learning to do it well can help you achieve whatever goal you set.

Lynn Wilford Scarborough wrote a book about it called Talk Like Jesus: Change Your World with the S.I.M.P.L.E. Steps of the Master Communicator. Using the most famous communicator of all time, she analyzes the methods of the master communicators. She is the expert. Lynn founded the S.I.M.P.L.E. method of communication and the website empowercom.us. She has coached over 200 news organizations in nearly every major broadcast market, politicians, CEOs, non-profits, ministries and over 6,000 news professionals.

Lynn and Dr. Nancy share points on how men and women communicate differently, how communication must be aimed at its audience to be effective and how different generations communicate today.

Living Your Dream

Kristin Andress

Kristin Andress says you can be in charge and she’s co-written a book to tell you how. Imagine Being in a Life You Love helps you create the life you want to live.  It starts with the question, “What do you love?” a question that Kristin says women don’t give themselves permission to ask. Then it moves on through planning and action stages to help you live the life you imagine.

Kristin has done it for herself and shares her methods for living a life she loves. Find out how this small town girl became CEO of her own company providing strategies and solutions for corporations and start-ups. Get inspired with this 27 minute conversation.

 

How Women Feel about their Faces

How do you feel about how you look? Was there a time when you thought you looked the best you ever would?
Vivian DillerDr. Vivian Diller says that usually women do have that kind of moment. It might be on their wedding day or some other special time when they were their happiest and the focus of attention.
How women and men feel about how they look is Dr. Diller’s specialty. She co-wrote a book called FACE IT! How Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change.  As a retired professional dancer and model, she confronted the paradox between beauty and brains in a post-feminist world. Now she counsels young actors, models, dancers and sports figures as they transition from youth-oriented professions where youth and beauty is out of proportion to its importance in life.
Dr. Diller and Dr. Nancy discuss the importance of role models and how different it is for women today living beyond the life-expectancy of the women only 50 years ago. If you’re wondering if other women feel like you, listen to this 30 minute interview.

 

Love Unconditionally

Bestselling Author and International Speaker

Marci Shimoff

What was the happiest time in your life? How would you like to create that state of pure joy every minute of every day?
Marci Shimoff says she was happiest when she was falling in love. Marci should know. Her earlier book, Happy for No Reason was a #1 New York Times Best Seller and has been translated into 31 languages so far. She has also co-authored six Chicken Soup books and is one of the top best-selling authors world-wide.
After writing Happy for No Reason, Marci says she went from being basically unhappy to about an A- on the happy scale. She wanted to go farther. As she traveled around the world, she found people who radiated love and she became curious about how they did it. She interviewed 150 “love luminaries,” combined their wisdom and wrote a book about how we can all achieve this pure state of love called, Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love.
To hear more about this amazing book and the easy-to-follow steps to pure happiness, listen to this interview.

 

Raise Girls to Lead

Dr Janet RoseAre your daughters or granddaughters growing up to believe in themselves as “leaders” or do they imagine themselves as pretty, gown-wearing, princesses-in-waiting? Are you equipped to counteract society’s premature sexualizing of girls? Are you instilling a positive image of strength in your girls as you raise them?

Parenting expert, Dr. Janet Rose Wojtalik has made it her life’s work to coach parents how to help girls choose self-esteem and self-reliance over dependence on a man for their future support. Her free e-book, “The Seven Secrets of Parenting Girls and her blog are valuable resources for parents needing guidance on how to raise strong girls and respectful boys.

Dr. Janet says we need both. Women will not become leaders without the respect of the men with whom they work and live. Little girls now play princess more than ever before, which does not bode well for their success in upper management. The survival of these attitudes explains how little progress women have made in many areas.

There is much more valuable information about how to nurture our next generation of women leaders in this important interview.

 

Amazing Women Find Their Zip and Zest for Life

Women lose hormones as the years pass. As early as age 30 women’s hormone levels begin to drop as does their zip and energy. Find ways to find your passion and enthusiasm again.

Change the World

Are you are angry about some injustice? Or do you wish you could help someone who needs it desperately and has no where to turn? Do you feel powerless to help?

This amazing young woman will inspire you to get engaged in what you care about and take action to change the world.

Dallas Jessup At 13 years old, Dallas Jessup, a Martial Arts Black Belt, saw a news clip about a girl who was abducted and murdered. She realized that this could have happened to her or any of her classmates. She also thought that if this girl only knew a couple of self-defense techniques, she could have escaped.

Dallas embarked on a journey to make a difference with a home movie. Her mother suggested she take a scriptwriting class; her teacher asked permission to share it with others. 100 extras with celebrity appearances, professional staff and $600,000 worth of donations later, “Just Yell Fire” was offered for free on-line.  It had over one million downloads in two years and has launched a non-profit effort to protect young people from abduction, rape and abuse.

Now a college student, Dallas has written a book, telling the amazing stories of other “kids” who took action to change the world. Her book, Young Revolutionaries Who Rock: An Insider’s Guide to Saving the World One Revolution at a Time, is an inspiration to everyone to stand up and make a difference.

Use Courage to Succeed

SandraWalston2011What does “courage” mean to you? Does it create images of flying men in capes and heroic deeds of physical prowess?

Dr. Nancy’s amazing guest this week dispels this modern myth and open your eyes to what courage really is, where the word originated and how every woman shows courage in her everyday actions in everyday life, whether she knows it or not.

Sandra Ford Walston is the “Courage Expert” and author of the international best seller, COURAGE: The Heart and Spirit of Every Woman/Reclaiming the Forgotten Virtue.

As a trailblazer in the field of feminine behaviors of courage and courage coach, Sandra expresses the need for women to recognize courage as an inherent quality in themselves to achieve success in whatever they want to do, from living their authentic life to creating a successful business.

If you have trouble thinking of yourself as courageous and are being held back by society’s tricks and traps, listen now to this “Conversation with Dr. Nancy.” You’ll learn how courage is a forgotten feminine virtue and how to find it within yourself.

 

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